Here's to the Dreamers - God bless us all!

I've always managed to live beyond my means. I'm not one to let a lack of ability, or talent prevent me from embarking on a course that perhaps a wiser or more rational head would have decided was folly.

This has manifested itself over the years in a number of ways; buying my first flat when I had no money, singing in a band when I couldn't sing, starting my own business without any real clue about what I was doing and running in ridiculously long races when I don't train enough. However, here I am, 45 years in to this life and when I pause and look back I realise that I wouldn't have done any of these if I hadn't taken that leap of faith each time. To hang on to that unshakeable belief that I could do these things if I really wanted to and to not loose sight of the dream.

I've always been a bit of a dreamer. Not your whimsical, "wouldn't it be great if I could fly!" type of dreamer but more practical, real things that focus your energies and give you a faint glimmer of hope that says "why not? - I could do that!" Life is too short to hang around and wait for things to happen, you need to go out there and get them. You need to make your own luck and have a hand in your own future and to grab the chances that present themselves to you. Enjoy these moments when they come, savour them and embrace them and recognise the fact that you made them happen.

Andy Cole spoke in his last blog about finishing the Ultra Tour of the Lake District 100 mile race and that whilst most people would summon up a run in the last half mile or so to finish strongly in front of the crowd, he prefers to take his time. He wants to enjoy these last few moments, to drink in the atmosphere, to recognise the applause, the enjoy the satisfaction of all the hard work and effort that has gone in to this moment. I like that. I have blogged in the past about "enjoying the journey" and this is exactly it. If my cup of life is filled to the brim then I am going to drink it down and enjoy every drop - and then go back for a refill!

So does all of this have some point? Am I going anywhere with this? Well in a little over two weeks time I'll be in Chamonix for the start of the UTMB, 105 miles and 29,000 feet of racing in what is the premier event of it's kind in Europe. Have I trained and prepared properly? - No. Am I experienced in races of this nature? - No. Do I believe I can do it? - Hell yes!

How can I honestly believe that I can do this? - Well, in my head, many times, I have run down the main street in Chamonix in the early hours of Sunday morning with the cheers and shouts of "allez, allez" and with the finish line coming in to view. I raise my arms as I cross the line; I've done it. So I can dream it and I can imagine it and I have deep, deep down belief that I can do it.

So to the other dreamers who are joining me in Chamonix, who want to grab a slice of life a savour every morsel along the way, I raise my glass and say "Salut - bon chance mes amis!"

Response to Comments

Thanks for all your comments on my last post - very helpful.
I'll take them one at a time if I may:
Tim - It's a long time since I've been referred to as a Youngster and for that, I thank you.
MtM - Wise words as ever and I will continue to seek out some hills - at walking pace.
John K - You're right when you say that if I don't go, I'll never know how I would have done.
Andy C - Your words probably struck the biggest chord with me. My own view has been that running is secondary in this event (except for the fast boys at the sharp end of the race). What is important is the ability to keep on going, to never give up and the finish line will surely come, Determination, I have in shed loads!
Ritchie - I admire your view and your TTFU attitude. There is some merit in that but I am wary of pushing too hard and setting myself back even further.
TM - Beer and whisky are always beneficial!
Debs - It is very difficult not to be influenced by the financial outlays made so far but you are right - what would my position be if these issues were set aside?
So, the upshot of all this is that I currently have no intention of pulling out. I will keep cross training like a demon, Climb hills when I can and keep the physio and stretching going so that hopefully, I'll be back to my ususal mediocre form in no time.
Stuart Mills posted recently about the Ultra Running community and the willingness of it's members to support and help each other irrespective of where you come at the finish line. Thank you to all who commented.

There's no going back now!

I have ran a total of 28 miles in May! - Given that I am in training for UTMB, a race which consists of 105 miles of trail and 29,000 feet of ascent, 28 miles is not very much.
14 of those miles were in the week following the Highland Fling and it was during them that I felt the pain in my ankle which has subsequently been diagnosed as Posterior Tibial Tendonitis. It appears it is a general overuse injury and I had hoped that with sufficient rest, stretching and icing it would clear up in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, we are now four weeks down the line and after a brief 5 miles last night I can report that it is still painful.
I haven't been completely idle in the last month and I have been cycling and using the step machine in the gym but it's not quite the same. This is the time when I should be out there putting in big miles on big hills - but I'm not, and I'm worried.
With just under 3 months to go till UTMB I am seriously concerned about my ability to finish. So what do I do?
UTMB, for me at least, is likely to be a "once in a lifetime" event. I have paid my entrance fee, I have paid for my flights, I have bought some expensive new equipment so, in short, I've laid out a lot of dosh in order to take part. There is also the issue of the ballot. This year I was successful, next year I may not be. So I am loathe to pull out and see all this go to waste.
I have never yet DNF'd. Now I know that at some point this may happen but not yet and not in UTMB. Should I start and risk having to pull out part way through or should I DNS rather than DNF? I am stubborn bugger and I know that if I start, it will take a serious issue for me not to finish, but at what cost? Struggling on to complete a road marathon is a different kettle of fish to battling my way over some serious mountains after 40+ hours of effort.
So what do I do?
I plan to continue to cross train and hope that my ankle improves sufficiently to allow me some proper hill time prior to August. I'm not pulling out yet but at the moment I am struggling to get my mind to accept what my body is telling me!

More on the Fling

Thanks for the various comments on my last report. Many of them refer to the same suggestion of taking S Caps during the race to help replace lost salts - guess what? - I was!

I took one every hour so maybe that wasn't enough but I hope to find out a bit more after my visit to the Nutritionist on Monday.

From the photo below, you can see from my shirt just how much salt I had lost.

You can also tell that I was not in a particularly cheery, fresh state!

A few other pictures from the day:

Looking calm and relaxed before the start - little did I know what was to come!

Mustering before the start



Managing something almost like a run at the finish.

More of a Flop than a Fling

My fourth running of the Montane Highland Fling and I was feeling fairly positive and determined to get under 11 hours at last. I've never had a good run in this race despite being convinced I should be able to get nearer 10 hours - maybe this year would be different.
My problem in previous years has been debilitating cramp which kicks in around 30 miles or so and sees me hobbling between bouts of muscle spasms in my hamstrings and calfs. I had a new strategy this year and had changed my drink of choice and had even put in some ready salted crisps at the Inversnaid drop bag to prevent the dreaded 30 mile threshold.
The weather was stunning and I set of feeling good and reached Drymen in about 1:55 - slightly faster than I had planned but feeling very comfortable. I trotted up through what remains of the forrest and then started the climb up Conic Hill. As I reached the top and was admiring the view, my right hamstring cramped up! - I couldn't believe it - only 20 miles in and I was suffering already.
The rest of the race kind of went downhill from there! - I was mentally defeated by the time I reached Rowardennan and for the next 25 miles I shuffled along at a snails pace. Every time I started to run at a reasonable pace, my hamstrings would cramp up and then, after a while, obviously feeling left out, my calfs and quads decided to join in.
The heat didn't help I'm sure but I don't think that was the only cause. I had one spectacular moment climbing the hill just after going under the road at Carmyle cottage when my hamstring and quad both cramped at the same time! - It was impossible to stretch either of them as the opposing muscle just screamed in objection!
Anyway, the long and short of it was that I plodded on and crossed the line in a personal worst of 12 hours 5 mins feeling pretty pissed off. The icing on the cake was that I was told that the cold bottle of Coors that was meant to be given to each finisher wasn't there as they had run out!
So what to make of all this?
I'm sure my problems come from my hydration and nutrition strategy and so with this in mind, i've booked in to see a Nutritionist next Monday to get some advice. Hopefully this will give me some confidence back for the rest of the season. Despite running more miles so far this year than in the previous two years, I haven't had many long (25mile +) runs which I think made a difference.
On the positive side, I didn't give up, despite it crossing my mind a few times and although I wasn't able to run, I could have kept walking beyond Tyndrum so, with the reduced pace of UTMB in mind, that's no bad thing. However, what is also clear is that I need to get the finger out and put in some serious hill time and long miles.
As with every year though, the Fling is a fantastic race, superbly organised by Murdo and Ellen (despite running out of beer!) and I'm sure I'll be back next year to try and rid these deamons!

Mike Cudahy - Inspirational Words

I have just finished reading Mike Cudahy's book Wild Trails to Far Horizons - again. For those who haven't heard of Mike, he is one of our greatest "Ultra" runners whose achievements include being the first person to complete the 270 mile Pennine Way in under 3 days (on his 7th attempt) and he completed the "Coast to Coast" in under 2 days.

His book, "Wild Trails to far Horizons" is a fantastic tale of his adventures and achievements and his talent for running is matched by his talent for words. It was after completing his sub 2 day Coast to Coast run in what were challenging conditions to say the least and overcoming the mental battle to retire on a number of occassions that he wrote the following words which I thought captured the emotion and sense of fulfillment that I have shared on completing the West Highland Way. I hope he doesn't mind me quoting from his book.

"Never have I felt such sheer and simle joy at the end of a run. Moments such as these not only provide the answer to why one does things like this but why we are alive at all. One moment of such joy is worth far more than countless years of steady rational living. To have encountered hardship, discomfort, to have experienced one's physical, mental and spiritual limitations and weaknesses, to have found a path beyond them, not conquering them but accepting and yet transcending them, to have been supported, guarded and guided lovingly by friends represents, for me, a joy both sublime and supreme. I ask for no more."

If you haven't read his book - I would urge you to do so and see what running really is about.

Hill Reps

My training for Mont Blanc has begun in earnest and in an attempt to gauge my current "state" I thought I would head off last Friday and do some hill reps.
Now bearing in mind that Mont Blanc has around 29,000 foot of ascent, a few sprints up the hill from my house wasn't really going to cut it so I set off first thing in the morning to Rowardennan where there was a slightly larger hill to use.
It's been a long time since I climbed Ben Lomond but it all seemed very familiar as I headed up through the trees and onto the hillside. Four and a half hours later I returned to the car after two consecutive trips to the summit and back.
On the whole, I felt pretty good. As I suspected, my climbing is fairly solid and I can keep a good pace most of the way up. Where I struggle is on the descents, partly through being a wimp and partly due to my weak ankles but the path is generally pretty good and there were no mishaps.
I used my sons trekking poles for the first time and these were fanatstic for the climb and will be a very helpful addition to my kit list in August.
The main thing that came out of my hill session was that for the next two days my quads were really painful. This is down to the descents rather than the climbing and is something I need to work on over the next few months.
So there we go. The first of many trips to hills and and a taster of things to come. All together now - "Oh, the Grand Old Duke of York, he had....................."